Missing everything, Everything's missing

Recollect. Sharpened memories
Unassuming windowpanes of wrecked desire
Replayed as epitaphs of framed beginnings

Lightly resting on begonias, the summer’s lusts paints
A caricature of this pale afternoon’s amnesia
Us as canvas to the day’s undoing

Beguiling tongues linger upon unexplored crevices
Unlocking secrets
With the tip of touch

Bronze the colour of skin
Yours, illume against mine
Let’s catch the light between us
Incandescent flickering of lucky stars – chosen to be found

Repose my trust within your words
Divulge the intimate
I bear sole witness

//pinhole roid

run away, run away like a prodigal

don't you wait for me, don't you wait for me

so ashamed that i need you so

and you wait for me, and you wait for me

strike three

it amazes me how time and again people use me for their own purposes
for the temporary taking and leave it by the wayside thereafter
best part is how i let them, blinded by earnestness and naivety
only to realise when it starts to sting
perpetual, withdrawn i've become
am i that useable
gullible fool

the long walk

It
was
just
circumstantial

Ah Lians and Uncle Mike

I.AM.SUPER.PISSED that my Agfa Ct Precisa prints were not cross processed!!!!
Went to try out a new place, Fotohub at Liang Seah instead of Triple D at Burlington Sq. The place looked spiffy and professional but was served by this Ah Lian who didn’t seem to know her photography shit. Its like hello, I gave her the slide film to be cross processed but it turned out NORMAL. I might as well have used normal non-slide film and had to pay quite a fair bit just to develop and scan.

Should have known better. Was asking Ah Lian what kind of colours and tones would the other films they sold turn out like and she was like …..crik….crik…crik….
*Hello Earth to Ah Lian, u work here dun u know!?!?!* Blur liao…
Am not going back there even though its more accessible than Triple D.

Contrast this to the ever-friendly, patient Uncle Mike who helms the Triple D photo shop. Now he knows his shit off the top of his fingers. I can safely trust him with my beloved prints. Just pass it to him, no questions and he knows to cross-process the bloody slide film. Heck even his school going son knows it, like duh.

Uncle Mike is so cool that he even bothers to load ur film for you, advise on getting the right exposures and the types of film. Yes, he may have a poodle of a Phua Chu Kang hairdo (wic works for him cutely), thinks that the lomo fad’s a phase and that lomographers are crazy loopies but he gets it right for an affordable price.

So unsatisfying…urgh. The Clarke Quay photos would turn out so much cooler with cross processing man =(

aaaaarhrhrhrhaghaghaghagrhhhhhMMAAKKKAAAUUUhghagrhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


…..pek cek…..

Bring on the delectable food and money....

Embracing Syawal

The month’s left us and with it the passing of reflection and solitude. Its been a prolonged, drawn out fight and the past month has been kind. Peace had been elusive, slipping out of grasp at every turn. The void was filled with sources of anesthesia, hastily picking at straws banking on choosing the shortest way out.

Consistency of the daily grind, the wedge of time and distance leads us to forget, forget others and their tales at navigating through the unfathomable workings of life. As we herald in Syawal, its time to bridge lost ties, reconnect, reinvigorate malaise spirits, forgive and be forgiven for times that we faltered and thank dear ones whom we have borrowed shoulders and showered us with love, hoping that we can repay them with ours.

So forgive the selfish, the non-existence, the non-commitance, the forgetting, piercing words, the unspoken thoughts, the envy, the expectations, the falling short of expectations, the breaking of promises.

If the essence of being is love,
Being present is being love,
For love is how and why life is.