tactile hostile

'why do people tell lies, half-truths, white lies, non-revelations'
'Maybe they're afraid to reveal them, cause it might change people's perception of them. Something they're embarrased about'

been a grappling point to the point i realise its not healthy and possibly affecting relationships with people around me. probably a skeleton in my closet, which i tot I had shipped out long ago. trying not to think much of it, but i need to be able to trust. in a way, the above behaviour is akin to cheating on a certain level no? but the assumption therein lies in the extent of expectations and nature of all the type of "ships" we have with people. if that is so, then i should cease to expect anything to save being on the receiving end of the above and potential bruise. yes,that should be it.

when i trust people, naturally you let them in, and by logic you will be vulnerable.
i m naive, i agree but thats cos i think the best of a person. so these days maybe im more fearful of opening up, of being vulnerable, of potential bruises. Cos i know that when i do trust, i will give it my all. An imbalanced tipping scale, which i don't want to be on. But some how I know deep down i still will. so this attitude has to change plus changing the goalposts of expectations.

disappointment is as long as its name. Yet there's still an end after T. i can choose to wait for the end or choose to refuse feeling crushed anymore.
setbacks only make you stronger, even if they repeat themselves. the latter it is.

the send off

Full circle it has come you say
Stay strong
Our prayers are with you